The Avenging Unicorn
by imaginess
Summary: Puck is one seriously angry dude.  Mercedes and Kurt decide to give him a gift to help him deal with his anger.  Warnings:  Mentions of unicorns, and death to small plastic people.
1. Chapter 1

**The toy described in later chapters does exist. I own it, and love it. I don't know why I wrote this, it was my sister's idea...**

Mercedes was standing by her locker when Kurt strode up to her, looking pissed.

"What is it, boo?" He sighed and leaned against the locker beside hers.

"It's Puckerman. I thought after he joined Glee that he would stop harassing me..." Mercedes rubbed his arm and nodded sympathetically.

"You know he has a temper. Finn said he tried to convince him to take anger management classes...but it didn't work."

"_Obviously! _If it weren't for his guns, the teachers would have forced him to see Mrs. Pillsbury."

Mercedes opened her mouth, then froze.

"Mercedes?"

"Huh? What did you say?"

"I _said, _that if the teachers weren't scared of his-"

"Yeah yeah, I know what you said..." Mercedes grabbed Kurt's shoulder, "I have an amazing idea."

"I would love to go and take my anger out on my dad's credit card! Let's hit the mall right after school." He said, assuming that would be her amazing idea.

"No, that wasn't my amazing idea. Did you know that Puck's birthday is coming up next week?" Kurt pouted at the idea of not going to the mall, then looked at her suspiciously.

"Mercedes, how should I know when Puck's birthday is? Are you still into him?"

"No, I just overheard him talking about it! Anyways, I have a super good idea. I saw this weird little toy in the mall, and bought it, 'cause I thought it was weird, and now I have a good use for it.

"What is it?" Kurt asked, curious to know what had his friend all excited.

"You'll see..."

**Okay, don't worry, I'll actually tell you what an avenging unicorn is in the next chapter**

**REVIEW!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, here it is.**

"It's a what?" Asked Kurt, a mixture of amusement and confusion on his face.

"You heard me. It's an Avenging Unicorn." Kurt had eventually talked Mercedes into telling him about the item, and now was insisting on details.

"What in the name of Alexander McQueen is an 'Avenging Unicorn'?" He asked.

"It's a little toy unicorn that comes with three plastic figurines of people, that each have a whole through them so that the unicorn can stab it." Kurt raised one of his perfectly-shaped eyebrow at that. Mercedes sighed, "I know it's weird, but I think it's made for people who need anger management." Kurt nodded slowly, then smiled.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Kurt said, making a note to be 'sick' on Puck's birthday.

As it turned out, the day of Puck's birthday, Kurt was at school. Mercedes had brought a neatly wrapped box with a note on top, and dragged Kurt over to Puck after glee.

"Hey Puckerman, happy birthday." Mercedes said, pulling the present from behind her back.

"Uh...thanks, I guess." He said, looking between her and Kurt with a confused expression.

"Damn, you're slow, white boy." Mercedes said, shoving the present into his hands. "This is a _present. We _got it for _you, _on your _birthday._" She explained slowly, as if speaking to a child.

After a brief pause, Puck began to unwrap the present. "Wait for it." Kurt muttered to Mercedes.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Puck as he looked down at the now unwrapped box. The avenging unicorn came in a purple box with rainbows on it, and Puck's eyes shot up to Kurt. "This is way too gay to be her idea." He accused Kurt.

Mercedes stepped in between the boys, and smiled brightly. "Do you like it? It's for something to take all your anger out on."

Puck looked confused, like Kurt when Rachel suggested the creation of a gay-lesbian alliance, and then Puck walked out of the room. Kurt shrugged to Mercedes, "Well, we tried." He said, and they linked arms, and strutted out of the room.

The next day, Mercedes and Kurt met up at Mercedes' locker once again, and looked sadly at Puck down the hall.

"It's too bad he doesn't like it." Mercedes sighed.

"Yeah." Agreed Kurt.

Puck opened his locker, and glanced around. When the coast was clear, he took out his little unicorn, and a plastic man, before shoving the figurine onto the unicorn's horn. He smiled, as he felt himself being overcame by calm, like after he had thrown a dweeb into the dumpster. Puck had never played with dolls as a kid, bit the Avenging Unicorn was way too cool to pass up.

**Don't forget to check out my other stories! And please review! **

**Next time you are in a store...or on ebay, try to find an avenging unicorn, because there is such a thing!**

**I would like to thank my other sister (not pratricia sage) for gettting me an avenging unicorn for my birthday!**

**-imaginess**


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